The Coaching Habit Unlocks Human Potential

This episode originally aired on January 18, 2016.

---

Longtime friend of PF 📚 Michael Bungay Stanier is offering an incredible training opportunity: buy a print copy of The Coaching Habit between May 14 and 20, 2024, register at TCHLive.com, and you’ll get access to three live webinars (and recordings).

The Coaching Habit is not only a deeply helpful book, but Michael is a world-class coach and trainer. His sessions are always practical, engaging, and fun.

This training for the price of a book? A no-brainer. But the deal closes May 20, so get your copy now and head to TCHLive.com to register for the trainings.

---

In this episode Michael and I discuss The Coaching Habit and its transformational potential at length.

Topics We Explored

• Why coaches need to shift from giving advice to inspiring curiosity

• What four approaches are keeping some coaches from being effective

• How to manage the Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer dynamic within the “drama triangle”

• Why some coaches are “advice monsters”

• How to be a great manager by asking two simple questions

• What negative patterns people often fall into when trying to make life changes, and Michael’s universal solution

• Why coaching is a powerful way of being with people, because it unlocks human potential and transforms the way you relate to others

• How coaching is also really misunderstood, misrepresented, and when done right, it turns out, is really hard to do

“Coaching is about leading with curiosity, not advice.” —Michael Bungay Stanier

Links & Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• Box of Crayons

• Do More Great Work by Michael Bungay Stanier

• End Malaria by Michael Bungay Stanier

• Malaria no More

• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

• Goleman, Daniel. "Leadership that gets results." (2000).

• TouchPoints: Creating Powerful Leadership Connections in the Smallest of Moments by Douglas Conant and Mette Norgaard

• John Whitmore

• The 7 most powerful coaching questions… from The Coaching Habit (p. 200)

• Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey

About Michael Bungay Stanier

Michael Bungay Stanier is at the forefront of shaping how organizations around the world make being coach-like an essential leadership competency. His book The Coaching Habit “unweirds coaching”. It is the best-selling coaching book of this century, with over a million copies sold and more than ten thousand five-star reviews on Amazon. His most recent book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone, shows how to build the Best Possible Relationship with the key people at work.

Thanks for Listening!

Subscribe to Productive Flourishing on Apple Podcasts to get all the latest episodes delivered straight to your preferred mobile device. This is the perfect option for listening to the show in the car, on the subway, or while you’re working out. Plus, you won’t have to fuss with figuring out how you’re going to listen.

Episode Timestamps

[1:00] Who is Michael Bungay Stanier?

[3:25] Michael’s books, Do More Great Work & The Coaching Habit

[4:31] Michael talks about the ‘resistance’ to coaching and related statistics

[6:00] Coaching is about leading with more curiosity and with a lot less advice

[6:59] The T.E.R.A quotient explains why it’s hard for people to listen and not be an 'advice monster'

[9:33] Coaching is an effective leadership style and it has to be done in 10 minutes or less

[12:59] Michael talks on the process and provides a working definition of coaching

[14:47] Managers can delegate and still hold their value in an organization

[16:41] The drama triangle: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer

[21:14] The 7 most powerful coaching questions for managers, from The Coaching Habit (p. 200)

[23:04] The two questions Michael puts more weight on when coaching managers.

[26:28] Why does asking 'why' get a little problematic?

[27:27] Which of the questions seem easy but in fact are harder to have a powerful conversation around?

[29:39] The trickiest question for Michael is the foundation question: What do you want?

[32:12] Michael talks on the difference between wants and needs

[34:06] Which of the 7 questions is the most challenging for Michael?

[41:04] How to transform your own potential? Michael has a mastermind group

[43:19] Michael talks about the process of writing and shaping his new book

[46:30] Michael’s one takeaway message: "Say no to more stuff so you can say yes to the right stuff"